Shakahnna (weskerismybitch) wrote,

Talking lots

I had wanted to wait until everything settled down before posting anything but seems at the moment they are just that. Sooo health wank tiem. Three to six months from now I am going to be fine. Like it’s a long recovery time because have to wait for the cells on my heart to grow over the implanted thingie (yup medical terminology is my bitch) and have the hole completely blocked.

Since coming back from the op though I’ve been pretty unwell. Like even after the first week passed just wasn’t feeling any better. Actually worse. So I caved in (because you are weak) and went in to see the doctor. Turns out because of all the blood loss have developed anaemia so they’ve given me something to (Seriously waking up in a pool of blood is nowhere near as fun as it sounds.) stop the bleeding. Another round of my doctor being a fucking cunt like shorting crack as in of the arse variety cause there’s this pill that pretty much stops the fucking heavy bleeding and volia win for me. So you know something that might have come in handy... 4... 5 years ago. Still then maybe would have dropped dead at 50 from an undiagnosed heart condition. Just annoyed that the recovery time is gonna be spent still on my fucking back. And I can’t concentrate on shit. Moan moan whine whine etc. 

Not me but a member of my family had a cancer scare two weeks ago as well so that was just completely ugh like everything seemed to be looking as though it wasn’t going to go. I had then planned to come back because I had one of those stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself, granted it’s frustrating but no need for this wallowing shite. Unfortunately before I had the chance a friend was taken into hospital. She has a degenerative condition so as she gets older that will be more common  but had thought that it was her heart which is the only fully working organ she has so that was gonna be fucking awful. But they have released her out and they don’t think anything is seriously wrong. Or if there is they haven’t found it yet. It’s kinda mad though because while I’d not say she’s my best friend, we are relatively close but the other girl who she is close with also has a dodgy heart. So we are gonna start a club for it. Apparently. Personally I am kinda ashamed of my birth DEFECT. You know considering it means genetically I am flawed.

But all considered, am okay. I can’t do all that much like even gaming, anything more than two or three hours and I start to get very tired, writing and drawing is coming very slowly too. But all in all I think I’ve skimmed a bit more of the shite off of the top of my milk. It’s easy to see whose good and who isn’t. Dave has been wonderful though I mean genuinely just making it easy and that I do rest. Cause objectively I know I am supposed to just rest but when you’ve been sitting down in the same place, all day, and you hurt from inactivity resting seems like utter bullshit. But I did some cooking over the weekend and at least that is getting something done. Plus it’s been ages since I’ve had sushi or Chinese curry or even miso soup with vegetables, noodles and parcels. It was good to have stuff that isn’t just chuck in the oven. All my complaints are small niggling things, they aren’t the sort of thing that would have me or anyone else crying themselves to sleep at night but it does mean my tolerance for frustration is very small.  Am just constantly sore and quite grouchy. Oh no curmudgeon.


For those of you who don’t want Origins spoiled for you I advise not reading the next little bit where I am talking about the endings. So clearly the bad ending was very, very predictable. But that at least explains why the butcher was so awesome. Like I’ve heard the comparisons to Pyramid Head and I acn see why but I think if we are strictly talking game-verse then I would definitely pick him as my favourite one.   His look was allot more conceivable I think, the burned and scarred facial tissue. The mask melted into his face looked so much more brutal than the big pyramid. I think PH look definitely improved with the movie, they made his edges sharper, his body more sculpted and huge so he ended up looking so much more scary. But how he was in number 2? I didn’t really think much of him. Plus the Butchers outfit worked very well for his profession. Same with his weapon, he just really looked the part. Shame that comparatively with the regular monsters it did take so little to kill him. I think if it had been a proper long, gruelling boss fight then it might have made him the perfect antagonist. It really was awesome to watch him just lift up that nurse and slice her away in two, not to mention there is no clue whether or not you were gonna have to fight him. And the fact either it could have been a reminder to you of the terrible things you’ve done or a monster sent by Dahlia’s order because you are helping Alessa and making it easier for her to escape. The cast from the first game are definitely without a doubt my favourite so was wonderful seeing them again. And I think Travis totally makes a great addition to those guys.

If I had liked number 3 more, I’d probably have totally creamed in my pants that you can play Vincent but as it was, I was kinda meh about the whole thing. Still the outfits in general were completely ace like I was totally laughed at him in the Mexican wrestling attire or where you turn into nerd man? That’s fucking ace. It was a nice touch, I love the UFO endings like those are a staple that they definitely need to keep.

And the UFO ending was totally cute though, I totally can just picture him grinning and snuggling up to his truck, like I loved that. I really like Travis as well though. He was quite a lovely guy (or a complete deranged serial killer.) but just the fact that he ran into the house to get Alessa out was lovely. Her part in the game was surprisingly small, she spoke one line and changed things from real to nightmare. But again I think that is heavy movie influence going on. Which is again fine with me because I totally fucking love that film. But yes Travis was actually just your regular (mostly) run of the mill kinda guy. Kinda ambling about not really having met anyone special, liking his work, having his buddies around. Nothing complicated who kinda just stumbles into this world. Or you know someone who was drawn to this place and the fact he DID save a life showed he was capable of repenting so he was dragged to The Hills to repent for the terrible things that he did. And how much did I fucking squee at the end when you get the transmission and it’s Harry and his wife finding Cheryl?  Poor wee thing that she ended up being.

My only real criticism with the game would be the breakable melee items and the constantly re-spawning enemies. Which wouldn’t be so bad except I saved everything up, barely touched anything and no next fear mode. Perhaps that me showing my alliance. I was a huge  fan of the first game, I played that one utterly to death like always with the same ending, trying to save Lisa. Think it was only after playing for about a year I did other things, am a creature of habit for sure. I mean I pretty much hated Harry after what happened with Lisa. But after number three I did soften up a bit. Just a tiny bit. But after number 1, I did play the other games but didn’t really think that much of them. I’ve not been a proper fan since about 98.

Like I mean I was after the first game never a huge fan. Number 2 I thought was bollocks (I liked aspects but I didn’t enjoy playing it at all. I didn’t really care for any of the characters and can say it’s realism to have everyone be a shit but can just interact with the cunts I know if I wanted to be around people I have no respect for and can’t stand. Like there are some themes which have no fucking place in something which is supposed to be fun) and number 3 was okay but not really the sequel I would have liked to have seen. Number 4 was shit as well. Fucking ghosts that you can’t fucking kill running around with long fucking hair and Henry is eating boiled rice while watching fucking paint dry. *Insert usual universal complaints about number 4 here.* Like Walter was just annoying, he wasn’t scary and not being scary is kinda the problem. And since the Resident Evil series last few instalments really have not had any horror I think I am probably starting to rekindle my love of the series. Silent Hill is probably the last vestige of survival horror. Resident Evil is about as scary as getting as a glass of milk, CT is dead after they made Haunting Ground, which didn’t do well enough for a sequel (and was scary for all the wrong reasons). Dino Crisis turned into Dinosaurs in space (of course) and Parasite Eve had it’s sequel as like a mobile game? Saying that Doom 3 was quite scary and I’ve not played L4D yet. But then am not sure how scary anything that is based on the HL can be. Still it was just wonderful to play something that made me jump and curse and swear and actually get involved in.

It also didn’t hurt that Origins is the first one I’ve played since then that I really, really enjoyed. Like playing it was fantastic fun. I loved the fact you could beat stuff to death with your own hands. I mean actually get in there and thump it in the face. The melee weapon choice was totally fantastic too. They story was nice and engaging and could be interpreted in several different ways rather than just having different endings. Another factor carried over from the first game that I really took to. As opposed to the other games where you can change the ending but not really what happened before hand. Like in number 2 you were always there and Silent Hill always existed because James had killed his wife. Fuck Origins just made me wanna play the series again. Which I then since have.

The only other problem I had was Lisa and Kauffman. Like I know that they wanted them in the game and it was wonderful to see them kicking around but they did seem quite out of place. Lisa looked a bit like mutton dressed as lamb and obviously her personality was completely different and I didn’t like that at all. Kauffman was still a dick but he didn’t look quite right. I was always of the impression that he was somewhat fixated with Lisa but she wasn’t interested. So he picked her to watch over Alessa to keep her close. But Lisa actually couldn’t bear the suffering and was the first person to really show any kindness to Alessa. All her life, people had either been scared or nasty to her but then Lisa would sit with her, talk with her and continuously change her bandages and try to stop the pain. Is why Alessa then protected her once everything went to hell. Is why she only turns after Harry has fucked everything up. And clearly she was totally off her face on White Claudia but it didn’t have the excitement I thought it would have for seeing those characters back again. Like Kauffman was supposed to be a cunt but Lisa never was. And they pretty much just made her into a whore which she should never have been.



Silent Hill 5 is fucking stunning though. I mean another problem I felt with the middle rung games was that they didn’t quite get over how absolutely fucking grotty Silent Hill was. The first one had done it very well because the graphics were so pixelated that everything looked like rust and decay and grime. The next gen games, they didn’t work. Everything looked far too organized and just didn’t have the same feeling of ick and decay. But number 5 I think actually has the graphical capacity to make everything just that bit more dirty looking so taht it actually works. Visually this game is stunning. There does seem to be something about PSX3 games and having bad teeth in the models? Wesker was the same as well where there4 was something just not quite right with how the teeth sat in the mouth. Alex definitely had a bit of that going on. But the PSX3 is still a relatively young console so I imagine with time that is something that is going to get better.

I only finished today so have only seen one of the endings so far but I know that there are a few more at least so gonna look up how to do those. But it’s almost definite that one is gonna be that Alex killed his parents like am so sure of it. Dave is taking the replays at the moment but I am just totally waiting for there to be something like that. He killed Josh by accident and then goes totally mental at how his dad is reacting and kills him and when he comes home his mum starts to ask about the other two, not him and he kills her as well. I do hope there is a better ending than the one that I got, which was just that the whole thing was just a delusion and Alex hadn’t accepted what he had done yet. But looking forward to seeing what the rest of them are, like the sign of a good game is once it’s done you wanna play it all over again. Which I didn’t feel with RE5 actually, like collect everything, complete pro mode. DA-DA! I’ve not played it since. Anyways enough of the it’s pish survival horror is dying weh weh weh. Ha ha I made sounds with words.

God I loved the way that the monsters moved in this one, am gonna end up being a fan of Pyramid Head yet. I love it when they have him move like that. Same with the nurses, there is something really sexy about the fact that they move like every bone in the body is broken. The cracking noise is totally wonderful. Not to mention getting to see actual battle damage on the creatures as you are cutting them up is quite nicely done as well. It all looks like it should. And the killing moves that you can do on a stunned enemy are a really nice addition. Stomping on ribs is all well and good but if I can knock a Schisms face into the ground and then severe it’s head at the neck, then you can fucking bet I wanna do it. The scenery is filled with enough blood and gore that it does look really like a massacre has occurred but it’s not done with such over-kill that you kinda get desensitized to it and don’t notice it.  The backgrounds were all distinct and fantastic. I loved walking around in the town and the nightmare Silent Hill was just so fantastically done. They really did out do themselves.

Everything  just was tuned towards suspense and the areas where there were nothing just made it that much worse when suddenly something would be there tearing at your throat. The use of noise and objects you could knock over were all just fantastic because then you could never be sure when something was there or it was just the game dicking with you.

I totally fucking loved Wheeler as well. Like he was totally fucking awesome just consistently great and it was ace having him around. He was just very generous like gave you the shotgun and he was totally fucking kick arse. I totally nearly got down on one knee when you just free him from the prison and fucking Slam whore shows up and he just fucking kick’s it’s fucking cunt in. Like by the time I had changed my fucking weapon he had totally killed it dead. My eyes were totally fucking hearts. Or there is a bit where he just walks into a wrong filled with a corpse and he’s just like... well... that’s fucking gross... and moves on.

Alex I am not quite sure what I think about him yet. Like gonna wait until I’ve seen all that the game has to offer before deciding what I think about him. I don’t know I guess he isn’t a bad guy like he was someone who felt he was absolutely unloved by his family except his little brother. Who he had intense rivalry with because of the way that he was treated by his father. Is really a nice touch how all the parents who were going to kill their children acted differently towards them. Bartlet totally spoiled his son, made a shrine to him and buried him some place he was sure he’d love. Finch again spoiled his daughter, Holloway probably figured that she’d just kill the youngest simply because she had put the least time into educating Nora. But Sheppard actually had made a choice that the first born was going to be the one they sacralised and that he’d invest all his love into the first one. I mean he was clearly a good man and wanted things to be easier by staying distant but damn his reaction at finding Josh dead was definitely cold. Like not well I still have Alex but everything is lost now. Like he wasn’t even remotely happy that he could actually be close to the son he always pushed away.

Elle was nice if a bit pish. The characters were suitably sympathetic or un depending on what they had done and I like that.

Downside? The fucking controls. Like am not sure but I don’t think team Silent did this one and the programming in places is totally fucking ridiculous. Like it crashed just after I’d defeated Asphixa and I think I actually screamed out in frustration which almost never happens. Like I was so angry because the copy of the game is brand new (ha ha how obvious is it that mummy bought it for me? I never buy games new unless I am really, really looking forward to them.) and it fucking crashed. Not just that but the dodge function does have somewhat of a mind of it’s own.  Suspect you need to have some sort of sense of natural rhythm to do particularly well with it. But sometimes at random it just won’t attack and you miss that precious first strike and end up pants down, arse up and bubba behind you. The programming was a bit shit in places, I got stuck in walls a few times. And again totally fucking random buttons not working. But you know, not enough that I will be shelving the game never to play it again. Just now Alex is a sexy doctor in bloodied scrubs =D


Am so glad actually because I have been playing video games again like had stopped playing anything for awhile but since am having trouble with creativey things figured I would try playing more. Since RE5 don’t think I touched anything at all. So I started to play through the older games, have been trying to get all the cut-scenes for all the RE games and playing CV always is totally horn inducing like that game is fucking wonderful. I love just about everything about it save maybe two factors? But otherwise it’s fantastic. And then got totally fixated with Eternal Darkness and on an old CD found some fucking amazing renders of the monsters that I’d totally forgot existed like think they must have came from the original site before it went away but they are just totally beautiful. That game is wonderful. I leant my Gamecube to Liz along with the game so that she could play and am totally in with-drawl.

But that had made me think that perhaps all the games I will ever enjoy are the older ones and aren’t going to be any new ones that are actually good. Like have been really disappointed and I love the older ones so much was starting to think that there was never going to be any new ones but fuck MK versus DC, Origins and SH5 so far have all proved to be really awesome to the point of inspirational. So I think it’s safe to say that there is going to be more good in the future.


My mum has actually been quite swell, part of the whole recovery which drives me nuts is just sitting around. Like especially for the first week considering my head is still quite foggy so I can’t play with my clay or draw so I get very bored. But I also go through games like a monster soooo she actually got me MK versus DC and and and Animal Crossing for the Wii. Which has resulted in me cracking out my DS copy to get everything complete in my inventory before starting again on the City version. Am very excited about going to the city =D. Am so close to being done actually. I’ve got about four items left to get and then my set is complete. I just need to get 2 more fushes to get the museum model and the golden rod. But it needs to be summer for that and is April at the moment. Animal Crossing doesn’t really require much concentration at all so I’ve been able to play for whole weeks at a time. My garden is gorgeous and I have been chasing butterflies which I love =D The peacock ones are totally magical looking and I can’t wait until it’s firefly season as well.

And we have Arkham Asylum as well so gonna be playing that once have done with Silent Hill 5. Haze was quite nice as well like nothing hugely engaging like big business is fucking shit? NO?! REALLY?! But still it was nice to play and the way they did everything was nice enough and wasn’t offensive.   


I member the point at which I realized that I might be getting myself unnecessarily worked up before the operation. Like the first time I was worried that there was going to be a Monster inside my heart eating away at the walls and when they disturbed it with the lasers/branding tools/ whatever the things that made with the hot were disturbed it then it was going to burst through my chest and kill everyone in the surgery before escaping and leaving a blood crime scene. The second time obviously it had been established that there was definitely

But the second time I had been playing Eternal Darkness pretty much constantly and I kept thinking about Peter’s level and those two nurses that you just can’t save. Which made me think of hospitals and being in there on a stretcher once everything goes to shit. Trying to imagine that first couple of hours where you can’t move at all and getting transported to that corridor, everyone screaming and then being stuck in that world. Ugh it totally freaked me right out. Actually Beatrix you were a total star, occasionally a bit of realistic worry helps. I was rather sure something bad was going to happen but so far so good. It was rubbish, I woke up swearing at least. And demanding my husband and knowing if it worked. Being knocked out was pish. Not so bad like I guess cause I WAS TRICKED.


As per our Halloween tradition we are going to go for Pizza and to see the movie at the cinema. It’s not like the best franchise ever but it is quite awesome to go to the cinema. Isn’t so often so am quite looking forward to it. Pizza hut is actually quite awesome like I’ve grown quite fond of it. Probably cause they do pizza with red onions which are the most awesome thing ever. Like it’s so good, they don’t serve coke and on top of that, the deserts are amazing AND it’s outside which is ace.


Fuck Shattered memories is gonna be here soon as well. It’s only taken me like four days to write this but at least am done now =D

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